I am a shy person naturally. I like to be quiet. I don't love being around tons of people, it's draining. I am an introvert. But none of this explains my phone anxiety. Texting is awesome. It's the best. Because, I am seriously afraid to pick up the phone. Now at work this is not a problem. At work, I can put on an act. That woman running things is not me. Well, she is a version of me, the version who can pick up the phone at any time and do (almost) anything fearlessly. But real me, is scared of a phone call.
You read that right. I am scared of my own cell phone.
That is not grown lady at all.
This is probably a hangover of some sort of something. A weird repression, painful shyness, strange social anxiety. Eek! Talking to people!
So friends, I need therapy. You should call me. And if I don't pick up you will understand, but push me anyway. One needs a little light to sparkle, you know. (That piece of brilliance wasn't mine, but it is genius.)
I had my date with myself this past Sunday. Nothing special, just journaling. I forgot that it was my day to pamper and I didn't take that relaxing bath I promised myself. Instead I worked on that list of stuff that my husband needs to have and be since someone called me on my lack of clarification and inability to articulate a list on the spot. But I did decide that I need to talk more. Talk with the internet, my phone, my people. Because really, who else have I got? I can't be afraid of the people I have chosen to love. They deserve better and so do I.
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