Honestly, why on earth is rent so high? It has finally sunk in that I need to buy a house. I am old and grown. For health reasons, I need better control over my environment. Paying a ton in rent is aggravating since I already know I won't be there forever. However, I do hate houses. All they do is fall apart and then I have to be the one to fix it! Maintenance doesn't just appear to magically make it better while I am at work. Now I have to find and call and schedule some company to come fix it- and all that costs EXTRA! I don't even like going and looking at houses. It just aggravates me as it is a crazy hodgepodge of compromise I don't want to make. Listening to NPR, I heard that Millennials are beginning to take over the housing market. So that's me... and NPR says I need to suck it up and buy a house. So I got online and found some housing calculators! Fun, fun, fun!
So from this, I noticed that the biggest difference in the amount of home I can afford is the amount of monthly debt I have. I thought it would be the down payment. So according to this, on my current income, a 30 year mortgage at 5% with just a $1000 downpayment and $500 monthly debt = $185,000 house. A thousand dollars worth of monthly debt translates to just a $92,000 house! And in my current state - just a $54,000 house.
According to this one, a $200 monthly debt decrease translates into almost doubling the amount of house I could buy.
And according to NerdWallet, I can buy a house in Louisville, KY but recommends that I not buy a home at this time in my hometown. Zillow says I can get a $26,000 house. And Lending Tree says I can get a $112,000 house in Charlotte or $117,000 in Boston...when I can get my debt to $500. And a mortgage should be less than 28% of your monthly income...
Yikes!
This made me wonder how I am doing just renting. So I found this rental calculator. And my rent is currently $93 over budget. Or $300, depending. Well fluff! I guess I know someone who will be looking for a new apartment soon...
On the upside, I now have a much more realistic picture of how debt destroys your dreams. And now I get to revise my goals- get all my monthly debt down to just $500 per month.
I wouldn't know. I am not that friend. I am not the friend who is going to tell you to do what is right or judge you from straying from the virtuous life. In fact, if you are the one living a perfectly virtuous life, you probably won't want to be my friend anyway. I have glitches some might find unsuitable. I have determined they give me character. I think there is plenty enough good in following your gut. Your gut won't steer you wrong. It isn't going to fail you. As long as you can actually listen to yourself, your regrets will be minimal. Or at least that is what I believe. Your heart can be fickle and it will often fly in the face of all logic. Guts do too. Instincts aren't based in fact and they can get you in trouble, yes. But we still have them for a reason. Plus, it will indeed be quite cold and lonely on the moral high ground if doing what is "right" or "acceptable" is what is also making you miserable. If doing something doesn't come naturally to you and you are doing simply for the sake of other people thinking how good you are, how good are you actually? I advocate for happy. I advocate for not having the kind of regrets that keep you anxious and afraid past 2 am. You need to know yourself enough to know what you can and can't live with. What are you willing to do or not do and can you live with your decision in the morning either way? Now, I am not advocating violence and recklessness. I don't want anyone mean and nasty and I don't wish to hurt anyone. Those reasonable facts and whatnot are still quite useful. I still find being selfish and narcissistic disgusting. One of my favorite things to do is to burst those people's sickeningly egotistical bubbles. (See? Not perfect.) But it is ever so difficult to make another human happy if you are miserable. I really like to believe that we really should help out where we can. I still want to believe the best out of most of humanity. (Notice I said most. I am still a librarian.)
Be happy. Others who are happy will find you and you will make them more happy. The unhappy people will keep their distance from all that disgusting, repulsive happiness. Or you might just find that one vampire- cut them loose. You will know them because you will feel drained the moment they let you out of their presence and you will be relieved they are gone, even if you can only admit it to yourself. But most importantly, you have to live with yourself since there is no way to escape you. Be nice to you and choose happy.
Well that was a warm and fuzzy. I feel a little...uncomfortable. I might have out-happied myself. Or perhaps I am just so relieved I survived until Friday. TGIF!
But then I found this; the happiest pie ever! Hooray for the internet!
She seems genius. Check out the recipe. I'm simultaneously terrified by this and completely intrigued. It's so pretty! There are sprinkles everywhere! It's donuts!
Sorry to not have posted in a while. I just went back to work (yay!) It has been ok, but I am just not on regular schedule yet.
It has been a bit stressful and tiring. So I made Caramel Sauce. It was tremazing. But I ate it on bananas and apple slices - yummyheaven.
And yes, I am going to see the nutritionist soon where we will talk about my sugar addiction again. But for now, I could bathe in this stuff... Easy Carmel Sauce
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup half and half
4 tablespoons butter
pinch of salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Mix everything besides the vanilla in a saucepan on low medium for 7 minutes until it thickens, stirring constantly. Dump in the vanilla and cook for another minute more. Then let it cool a smidge and enjoy.
PS- Sorry! This was scheduled to post Friday, but Happy Daylight Savings Time!
Well not failure. Again, I got the reset button pushed on my life and that includes my financial life. Being out of work for so long tapped out my meager savings. So I am looking at starting again from scratch but I am kind of excited about this. Maybe this time, I can do a little better and reboot to a new normal.
Ya know, no one ever talks about money. Well, no one talks about their own money. But I can't possibly be the only person who doesn't feel comfortable about all this, right? I mean, there are books. Tons of books. But...how much do I really need? How much should I have saved? What about retirement? Investing?? And more importantly, can I still go shopping???
These are my issues. I don't want to miss out on all the fun stuff in life because I was too busy counting pennies. But I do want to be able to vacation, to buy a house eventually, to go to the grocery store without worrying about how much I am spending. Thus, my financial goals for 2016!
Financial Goals for 2016
$5,000 in savings
Pay off one credit card
Pay off my mattress
Make a budget...?
These are lofty. I feel like they should be attainable but kinda aren't. Already, I am behind by a quarter. I do hate budgeting. It feels...boring. There are so many more surprises in your life when you live thisclose to the edge of your bank account: the thrill of payday! My paydays all have heart stickers on my calendar, I kid you not. Overdrafts and fees! Or the occasional emergency transfers keeping me from ruin! Honestly, there is a lot of action there. Maybe too much action. Maybe I need some boredom. Or maybe I just need some fluff, some space to move. Perhaps finances should be like that new mattress I am paying off: the most comfortable pillow to lay down on. Soft, supportive and cushy, it has your back. Ugh. This is beginning to sound like a relationship that def needs more work.
So here-
MY FINANCIAL THEME SONG:
I do feel much better now that I have theme song. Empowered. Capable. Sexy...oh, wait. Should my finances be sexy? Hell yes! That is some grown, grown lady stuff! Time to get my sexy finances on!
I had been using Personal Capital for a while. My chart is beautifully red, not it's best color. I haven't even looked at it in some time though. So now...
I should probably print these out and keep them in my wallet. And everywhere else. It looks entirely different to see some financial goals in words and not numbers. There is more room to be open to interpretation. I am certain the financial gurus would not approve of this list since the goals are not concrete, as goals ought to be. Honestly though, they are all related. Have some money in my bank account so that I don't feel slightly panicked all the time, so that I can feel comfortable. Get rid of some debt so I am not hemorrhaging as much every month so that I can be free to do the other things I want like travel for retail therapy. And welcome myself back to the single life with a stash of vex money. Take care of the car so she can take care of me. Fluffy, cushy, sexy. Safe.
This all seems so reasonable, right? I can do this. I'm a BOSS.
I am a shy person naturally. I like to be quiet. I don't love being around tons of people, it's draining. I am an introvert. But none of this explains my phone anxiety. Texting is awesome. It's the best. Because, I am seriously afraid to pick up the phone. Now at work this is not a problem. At work, I can put on an act. That woman running things is not me. Well, she is a version of me, the version who can pick up the phone at any time and do (almost) anything fearlessly. But real me, is scared of a phone call.
You read that right. I am scared of my own cell phone.
That is not grown lady at all.
This is probably a hangover of some sort of something. A weird repression, painful shyness, strange social anxiety. Eek! Talking to people!
So friends, I need therapy. You should call me. And if I don't pick up you will understand, but push me anyway. One needs a little light to sparkle, you know. (That piece of brilliance wasn't mine, but it is genius.)
I had my date with myself this past Sunday. Nothing special, just journaling. I forgot that it was my day to pamper and I didn't take that relaxing bath I promised myself. Instead I worked on that list of stuff that my husband needs to have and be since someone called me on my lack of clarification and inability to articulate a list on the spot. But I did decide that I need to talk more. Talk with the internet, my phone, my people. Because really, who else have I got? I can't be afraid of the people I have chosen to love. They deserve better and so do I.
