Yes, My Christmas Tree Is Still Up

Yes, the tree is still up. Yes, it is Super Bowl Sunday which means it is February and my Christmas tree is still up. Here, let me distract you with my incredible recipe for Buffalo Chicken Dip, the green bean casserole of the Great American Holiday of Advertising. I don't even know who is playing but I know what I will be eating...

Buffalo Chicken Dip
2 cans of Swanson chicken breast
1 8 oz. package Philadelphia cream cheese
1/2 cup Frank's Red Hot Sauce
1/2 cup Ken's Blue Cheese dressing
1/2 crumbled blue cheese crumbles or shredded cheddar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Combine all ingredients in a shallow 1 qt. baking dish
Bake 20 minutes or until mixture is heated through. I usually put the cheddar shreds on top so I wait until they are nice and golden gooey. You can substitute ranch for the blue cheese dressing (but I will judge you on that b/c you just ruined it) and if you are super fancy, you can also shred your own chicken but this is America and there is no good reason to get all high and mighty with this dip (and I will judge you again on how you think you are better than the rest of us). Serve with celery sticks so you won't feel so bad about eating this but it goes well on tortilla chips and pretty much anything else you could think of. I have eaten it with a spoon.


You are still thinking about my Christmas tree aren't you? I can feel it through the interwebs! Don't judge me! I have tons of excuses! It is beautiful but I am not going to show you a picture for the shame of it. Well maybe I will show you a picture...

Oh, wait! This is supposed to be my Year of Yes. But there it is: the shiny, sparkly, champagne colored embodiment of... procrastination. So why am I saying yes to putting off the life I actually want to live? I should be saying no, I will create my new, Christmas Tree Free life today. Right now. Or else it might never get done. Which means I might never get to live. And I will never get done. 

Well that went real deep in a hurry. But procrastination has always been an issue for me. (Look! Excuse #1) I can start making healthier choices tomorrow. Maybe he will change if I just give it some time. Yes, these shoes are giving me blisters but they look so cute on my feet now. I'll put away the laundry tomorrow since I already folded it up today. What else have I been putting off? The ever-multiplying list of books I want to read. All those (crazy!) goals I made for myself back at the beginning of the year. Making myself happy...

I was doing so well. I left the guy and got my own apartment- my very first place to call mine. I had friends over (this was huge for me) all the time! I only had one corner left to unpack! I got to enjoy it for all of a month and then I got sick (Excuse #2! but this one is legit). Two weeks in bed, two weeks in the hospital, two weeks on the scariest, most awful, miracle drug in the world, two months more I don't really remember and here I am in the second month of being conscious-ish 60%-80% of the time. I was on a roll but I got totally, entirely derailed. I haven't been able to do much for a really long time. It has been way easier to not do very much. Loosing autonomy and independence grates against my nature, but like that old pair of sweatpants you really can't wear out of the house, procrastination is just soooo comfy! (Excuse #3: I can do whatever I want when mom goes home) I slipped into an old habit before I even realized it. It hooked its claws in me, pulled me under and I didn't even notice! Safe and secure on the lake bottom, with all that stagnant procrastination water weight keeping me down, I just now realized I can't breathe. There is sunlight up there. I don't have to choose this warm darkness. It isn't safe; its slowly killing me. Robbing me of time, taking up way too much mental space, creating unneeded and ridiculous anxiety, keeping me from what I want, taking me far away from life. I can leave you behind. I can break the surface and see the sun. Its perfectly normal to breathe. If you were an actual boyfreind, we would have broken up a long time ago.


Fine! I will take down the stupid tree!


PS My grandmother said we keep the Christmas tree up until Old Christmas. Which has long passed. Yes, she would be ashamed. Sorry Grandmi. I promise to work on it.

PPS Enjoy the dip :) Say yes to the celery. There! You didn't put off making a healthier decision! Go you!

OMG These shoes! I am perfectly aware that these are not grown lady shoes. But look at them! They are simultaneously horrendous and spectacular! Like the actual party threw up on my feet. There is nothing I own that goes with them. There is possibly nothing on earth that goes with them. I need them. AND they are on CLEARANCE! Can you believe!? Well, yes I can, since no grown woman should wear these and least of all in public. Please understand that it is all I can do to keep from jumping in the car this moment and going back to Dillard's...